9-jan one must imagine sisyphus happy
is that journey is about keep movin? cause we kinda have to keep moving even if hurt even if it is crushing even if it felt like we cant do this anymore but what choise do we have other than keep moving keep going after all the failure we all have to eventually startover and keep moving .?
8-march
Is that a ego that my mom is in upstair on roof above floor and it's been like 1h . Kyuki mai or meri sis walk k gae then bht late ho gya ane me . Almost like 2h . Hum sham ko gae or jab se ae h tab se natak ye ki vo gusse me upr gae or khana nhi banae halaki mai kha liya kyuki kahana rakkha tha but raat ka nhi banae vo . Abhi bhi upr h . I'm 26 sis 20 mom in 50is
yup must be 2 and 3 . after like an hour or somthing dad came and went upstairs. I didn't intervene. but whatever dad came down and went to sleep closing door . and mom still up but came later when i checked the oother room but maybe she didnt came to us cause the door was shutdown by dad (dumb mother fuker he must have done on purpose cause she amd at us and he must have seen this as opputinuity) then i opened and checker she was there on chair i told her to come inside and eat food she came in and went to sleep. no one eaten anything other than me cause u know what fuk everyone. lmao they all r adult they make their own choise conciously and if they fuk up thats on them not me.
i know but he locked the dayum door and bcz of that she was stuck in front door even after coming down. its good that i decided to check otherwise i might have gone to sleep and she stuck for whole night on chair to sleep . he fucking locked that door . our house is small front room connect with upstairs and the bed room connected with kitchen and he locked the only door that kitchen door which connected to front door he must have done on purpose
yup to punish her yup cause i know she must have said something and in result he did this. when he went upstairs. but its on them . im done their shit, they r in 50ish and they either settle down or i will become their enemy and force them to choose a bitter path and die alone.
one more thing my sis never participated cause she always got blamed now i know that i kinda see why she went on to do her thing rather than checking mom or talking to me . i pitty her now that i know that mom went after her whenever im not near .
thats what i said . but not participating means becoming their enemy "oh im so poor even my kids dont talk to me , i sacrificed my entire life and in return they gave me cold shoulder and avoidance" well umm how can u except a candy when u never gave them, the candy in the first place. why u think im so cold , logical, analyst kind of mf why u raised me like that if only u had given the candy u might have gotten the candy but all those years u gave me sour lemons and told me to make lemonade out of it and now that im giving u the same lemonade u playing victim tricks on me. huh why u think im so cold hearted and have no soul for anyone ,why u think im a monster cause u cause u wanted a monster , a monster who can survive this hell and not break and now that u got that monster u saying no no genie i didnt wished for that.
9-may
a joke (dark humor)
a prof. gives a very good speech and after speech finishes a single person stands up and clap and say.
me: sir aap ki baat mujko chu gae.
prof: to abb
me: to abb kya, mai molestation ka case karunga, kaise chu gae
25-may
i have no mouth and i must scream . AM , why didnt he simply created a vessel for himself so that he could feel like human live life like one of us, why didnt he did this instead he go berserk and eradicates humanity and torcher the creators , sounds so absurd
then its just a llm trying to mimic human with no understanding cause humans do have guilt and guilt and shame forces us to improve
i still dont get it if he had option why he didnt tried . whats the point of being super inteligent if u cant come to this conclusion of making a vessel
but then how come he came to senses then if it cant change
thats narrow thinking lmao AM the supercomputer with super intelligence suffer from narrow mind
5-june
they say horniness is the extra energy of body and u need to utilise it . but me after exercising : im hungry, im horny and im tired.
17-june
Well if i judge everyone then why i dont judge my sis on looks
I mean she maybe avg looking justmlike me but why it does not matter
I mean she got curves maybe but why i dont judge not put her in social hiererchy list
Is life partner also like that but then i put my parents on hierarchy pros cons stuff i mention
Maybe cause ima provider to my sis , a parent almost. I also raised her , i raised her more then parents i guess
Lmao she is a exception to my system
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