idont remember much but sister said mother tried to end sis life when she was too young , as young as 5 year. mom poured kerosine on sis i was not at home and second incident just before schizophrenia
nah i was not aware of this before she just explained today
and during early schizo she tried to kill sis with stone but just stopped because mom realised it can kill sis. but during almost around same time she came to search for me when i left the home like run away but that kinda explains that mom treats me differntly even when she is schizo and treat sis as different when schizo . sees me as saviour i think and mom sees her as problem idk why and if mom thinks that sis is problem they why she didnt let her die when sis diagonised with spinal cord spondilytis . and the more sis tells of past more i think how greatly i failed to protect her i thought at least she get a normal life .
we both grew up very differently me as someone who wants just revenge just and just revenge where as my sis very humble i guess i wonder who is normal . having hate for everyone is better or not having grudge even for the abuser is a more normal humane thing . from my pov she is more human then me cause im becoming a monster a monster who's only goal is revenge and hate and destruction
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